before this epic sabattical, i worked 80+ hours a week, barely taking a day off a week, never taking a vacation or extended time off. come to think of it, the only real time off i took in the last 2 years was when i got pneumonia. from this context, i have been thinking about the fact that i haven't worked in over 4 months; that i have spent the last three months just being, just engaging my surroundings, enjoying my far flung friends, looking at the sky.
this is america, where an almost 30 year old is almost always fine tuning the career track and life track; looking for their first home, getting married, having babies. my whole life i thought this is where i would be when i reached 29 1/2. instead i find myself unshowered for 3 days, completely divorced from the expectations that i had for my own life.
i am in the west, so close to my california, my "real life". i am trying to reconcile these two versions of myself, the one who by all measures should be getting married and perfecting a career, and the one who wants to look at the sky all afternoon.
i had this idea that maybe i'll start a visiting service, and if you'd like, i'll go visit your relatives that you don't have time to visit. i'll babysit your niece, i'll take your grandma out to dinner.
maybe instead, you should all go visit your grandmas, and your aunts, and you best buddy who moved to chicago. chicago is awesome. your friends are awesome. take it from us, you won't be disappointed.
before this epic sabattical, i worked 80+ hours a week, barely taking a day off a week, never taking a vacation or extended time off. come to think of it, the only real time off i took in the last 2 years was when i got pneumonia. from this context, i have been thinking about the fact that i haven't worked in over 4 months; that i have spent the last three months just being, just engaging my surroundings, enjoying my far flung friends, looking at the sky.
this is america, where an almost 30 year old is almost always fine tuning the career track and life track; looking for their first home, getting married, having babies. my whole life i thought this is where i would be when i reached 29 1/2. instead i find myself unshowered for 3 days, completely divorced from the expectations that i had for my own life.
i am in the west, so close to my california, my "real life". i am trying to reconcile these two versions of myself, the one who by all measures should be getting married and perfecting a career, and the one who wants to look at the sky all afternoon.
i had this idea that maybe i'll start a visiting service, and if you'd like, i'll go visit your relatives that you don't have time to visit. i'll babysit your niece, i'll take your grandma out to dinner.
maybe instead, you should all go visit your grandmas, and your aunts, and you best buddy who moved to chicago. chicago is awesome. your friends are awesome. take it from us, you won't be disappointed.
1 comment:
i really like this entry. short and sweet.
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